kgb_ Highlights

I know I'm not supposed to, but I have to! Here are some REAL questions people have asked on kgb. (Text your question to 542542; all answers cost 99¢. Standard text messaging rates something something.)

"How fast can I legally go over the speed limit?"

"What is the world's record for the largest baby penis?"

"Is it a law in Texas that if a dog bites anyone in a vet's office, the vet must put the dog down?"

"What does Andrew look like?" This one was funny because the auto-filled answer explained the appearance of female genitalia. Must be the most common question  in the form of "What does ____ look like?"

"What's the best thing to tell a girl when you want her to be your girlfriend?"

"How do you say *#@! in Japanese?"

"What is a rusty spoon?" (DO NOT GOOGLE THIS!)

"Should I stay with Ryan?"

"If a 13 year old boy spurms with a little bit of blood is it normal or shud he stop [obvious word removed for the sake of young readers]?"

"Is the government wiretapping all of our phones?"

We're allowed to do humorous responses when the context allows (obviously I can't give the guy a documented answer), so I responded, "kgb would love to answer this question, but we have reason to suspect this is not a secure line." 

It's 2:15 am. Time for bed.