Monday, September 21, 2009

I Miss My Girls!

Hi Liz! Hi Madi! I miss you so much! I decided to put up some pictures so you don't forget me! 

Remember when we ate the giant pizza?
Or when we went to eat Mexican food for Daddy's birthday? 
Remember how much Madi loves to play with the camera (and her Daddy)?
Grandma Debbie loves Madi! I think Madi loves Grandma Debbie, too! 
Remember how we played with Daddy's computer? 
We took fun pictures together at the motel. 
What a silly Madi (and a silly Daddy)! 
Liz, remember when you went for a big adventure in New York City with Daddy? We stopped and had lunch together. Pizza and strawberry milk. Mmmm! 
Daddy loves to read books to his sweet girls! 
Madi is peeking over Daddy's shoulder!
Madi says, "Let me see that camera!"

Liz' first day of PreSchool! 
Remember how Daddy loves to tickle tummies? 
What a sweet Madi. She loves Daddy kisses! 
Oh, she gives kisses, too! 
Remember when we went swimming at the motel? 

Friday, July 31, 2009

Okay, Fine!

I will succumb to much peer pressure and do a post about family stuff. :) 

Liz has been taking dance classes twice a week for the past two weeks. She started well after the rest of the girls, so she's a little bit behind, but she's picking it up very quickly. They normally don't let the parents watch because it distracts the kids, but they had a special preview day on Thursday where they allowed us to come see them for the last 20 minutes (of the 90 minute class). 

Karla wasn't feeling well enough to come so I was doing double-duty with the video and still cameras to try to capture the event for everyone. I then came home and hooked up the new video camera to the computer for the first time and used iMovie for the first time in many years. (They have made MAJOR changes to the program since the last time I did anything with it. I don't know nearly as much about it as I used to, so forgive the rough editing.) 

The theme is kind of cheesy, but it's nice because it's just a drag-and-drop process. 

Enjoy! 

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Consulting

I started a small business consulting firm/practice/thing today. I haven't determined a business name yet, and I'm far from incorporated, but I met with my first client. He's been described to me by many people as the "unofficial Mayor" of their town. (As far as I can tell the town is actually governed by a HOA-style board.) He is, without question, the most connected person I've ever met. I drove around with him a week ago and he showed me the area and everywhere we went he'd see several people who know him by name and ask when they can get together again. 

He is in the process of taking over a business. Due to non-disclosure restraints I can't say too much, but basically the business is quite profitable, having grown 100% since he started with them one year ago, but the whole operation is such a mess than he can't take it any further without serious help. There are two businesses, multiple families, and a church all mixed in the financial disaster. So they are making money, and they have cash on hand, but determining how much cash belongs to which organization is a near-impossibility. 

In the course of the first real day of inquiry about the business he has already directed attention to what I'll be doing next. While I'm working on his business he is actually working on mine! He has my next client already lined up for me (I met them last week; a sign business that also does graphics, videography, and marketing; we will DEFINITELY get along), and wants to know more about me so he can better sell me to more clients. 

If I didn't need immediate cash flow (and if I didn't know they have cash on hand) I would do this pro-bono because he's so incredibly connected and so actively trying to help me and my family. I was expecting to move out of this big family compound/plantation and into an apartment, but the jump start he's giving me makes me think we may be able to get into an actual house instead. 

Sorry no more personal, family posts. It really is quite busy. But at least I fixed the internet connection! 


- Jon 


P.S. I have a few ideas I'm working on for the business name, but I'm open to suggestions. Please leave a comment with any ideas. Again, I'm focusing on long-term strategic planning and marketing (both the common sense involving sales & advertising and the truer meaning involving product/service selection and client relations.)

Monday, July 20, 2009

kgb_ Highlights

I know I'm not supposed to, but I have to! Here are some REAL questions people have asked on kgb. (Text your question to 542542; all answers cost 99¢. Standard text messaging rates something something.)

"How fast can I legally go over the speed limit?"

"What is the world's record for the largest baby penis?"

"Is it a law in Texas that if a dog bites anyone in a vet's office, the vet must put the dog down?"

"What does Andrew look like?" This one was funny because the auto-filled answer explained the appearance of female genitalia. Must be the most common question  in the form of "What does ____ look like?"

"What's the best thing to tell a girl when you want her to be your girlfriend?"

"How do you say *#@! in Japanese?"

"What is a rusty spoon?" (DO NOT GOOGLE THIS!)

"Should I stay with Ryan?"

"If a 13 year old boy spurms with a little bit of blood is it normal or shud he stop [obvious word removed for the sake of young readers]?"

"Is the government wiretapping all of our phones?"
We're allowed to do humorous responses when the context allows (obviously I can't give the guy a documented answer), so I responded, "kgb would love to answer this question, but we have reason to suspect this is not a secure line." 

It's 2:15 am. Time for bed. 

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Disturbing

I did about 9 hours of kgb answers today. Well, last night and early this morning (it's 3:30 am). 

The first while was not very busy, and the answers were varied. But the last 3 hours have been nothing but perverts and awkward teenagers who are curious about their bodies (and the bodies of the opposite sex). And curious about sex. And curious about alternatives when sex isn't available. And curious about statistics for all things genitalia. And curious about my genitalia. And curious if "herpes is really a big deal? Can I die from anal warts?" I'm not making this stuff up. At all. I took screenshots of a few that were particularly priceless. 

Fortunately kgb has a set of auto-answer things we can just click to give a canned answer like, "We like a challenge but choose to not answer this one. No charge." 

There is a database where we can grab previous answers and throw them in. We get half pay for those, but they're very fast and actually far more profitable. But it's disturbing to do a search in the database for the terms in the late-night questions and see just how many previous answers there are in the database. 

Mind you this service has been around less than a year, and the auto-answer technology is even newer. (They call it Otto Hansa. Clever, 'eh?) 

Anyway, time for sleep but I dread it because of the mental images I've been given today. 

Pray I find a real job very soon. 


Oh, best question of the night: "My boyfriend spends all his time on kgb. How do I break up with this deadbeat?" I would have loved to have seen her boyfriend get that text on his screen and look over at his girlfriend. 10¢ per question, dude. Put the computer away and pay attention to her. 

G'night.

Friday, July 17, 2009

New Job

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. It's been really busy. I've been sorting through thousands (tens of thousands) of old photos to identify ones that would be good to sell as stock photography, then editing, then setting up a workflow to submit them to multiple stock photography sites. It's a lot of work, but once set up they are available for sale forever and could potentially provide some residual income. 

I'm also starting a new job today for kgb. (Apparently you're never supposed to capitalize it; I assume that's so it isn't confused with the KGB of the old Soviet Union. If they didn't want to be confused with them, maybe they should have picked a different name?) 



I'm a Special Agent. That means I sit around in my jammies and answer people's questions that they text to 542542 (kgbkgb). Try it sometime. It's rather entertaining. (Answers cost 99¢ each. Regular text messaging fees may apply.) 

I get a whopping 10¢ per answer if I do the research, or 5¢ if I use a canned answer from the database. If I work really hard I might be able to make $6/hour! 

So, yeah, it's not about the money so much as an interesting outlet for my unique ability to find basically anything online and remember nearly useful (but apparently not worthless!) trivia. 

Maybe the next time we all get together we can play Trivial Pursuit and I'll be my own team against everyone else. We'll have a blast. I'm sure you can't wait. :) 

Check out some of their commercials: 

http://542542.com/videos

I'm planning on making a much more realistic version that I'll post on YouTube showing what kgb agents really look like. (Maybe I'll wear the same outfit as the chick in the "loser wears my outfit" commercial.) 


Edit: I'm not supposed to blog about questions people ask, and make fun of them and all that, but I have to share this one: Were Jesus' remains ever found? Um, hello?! He was resurrected. What remains did you expect to be found? 

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Blogger Trick

Okay, I've been doing all sorts of editing and designing for many years. Blogger's tiny edit window drives me nuts. It took me a few minutes of googling to find it, but I found someone with a WONDERFUL solution:


He wrote a javascript, um, script that will resize your editing window to just barely fit in your current browser window. All you have to do is bookmark the link he has clearly labeled, then open an editing window and choose that bookmark. It doesn't navigate to a new page, it just fixes the current one so you can actually see what you're doing. (Moving pictures around is particularly obnoxious in the tiny window.)

Enjoy!

Day 2 - Denver to Kansas City

Well, as I mentioned before, we got out of Denver (actually Littleton) rather late, so we knew we'd be late getting into Kansas City where Karla's other cousin, Bethany, would be hosting us for the next night.



After a quick stop at Walmart on the way out of town we climbed on I-70 and drove and drove and drove. While not quite as perfectly flat and boring as I had been told to expect (there are some vague hills), it was definitely the least interesting part of the entire trip.


As you can see, Madi is not happy to be in Kansas. :(


Such remarkable vistas!


Probably the highlight of the Kansas drive.


This was the usual scene out the window.
Flat as far as you can see in every direction.



This is an HDR image (I'll explain later in the post), poorly processed, but it shows Liz in the rearview and the outside view. (Normally the mirror and dash would be in silhouette to see the details outside, or the inside would look good and the outside would look like a nuclear blast.)




Madi is SUCH a sweet girl. She really handled the LONG drives very well. It screwed up her sleep schedule, but she played and slept a lot. We had my MacBook set up between the two front seats so they could watch fun movies on the drive, but Madi seemed generally disinterested in whatever was on the screen, and very interested in playing with my video camera bag strap. Go figure.











Karla handled the drive fairly well also. While I did most of the driving, she was happy to help when I needed a break. In Kansas that wasn't so much about actually being tired so much as bored out of my mind. Even hearing The Little Mermaid wasn't enough to keep me awake, so we had to trade off.



You'll have to click on this one to really see it. I did a panoramic photo in the truck, showing all of the girls. Unfortunately there was too much distortion in the shot of Liz when I combined them, so this only shows Madi & Karla and the spectacular view. :)




I guess I just get bored with regular pictures. For some reason I decided to do a panoramic shot
of our truck & trailer at Wendy's in some random town in Kansas.




It was about 3 am when we passed through Abiline (where Aubrey & crew lived forever), but I wanted to go see the town anyway.




This is a bad shot of la casa de Ortega. It's hard to take architectural photos in the middle of the night with bad lighting. I was able to angle the truck & trailer at the house (harder than it sounds) to shine the headlights enough to take a few pictures. The problem is that the headlights are focused so you get a really bright spot and everything else is dark. So I took 3 photos at different levels of brightness and combined them on the computer (easier than it sounds) to compensate. But I had to shoot at the highest sensitivity setting on our little camera with a small sensor. High sensitivity and small sensors both lead to noisy images, and the HDR process (combining bright and dark images to even out the highlights and shadows) emphasizes noise, so it's pretty ugly. And I don't currently have Photoshop installed to clean it up better.

Here's the result:


Anyway, it was fun to see Abilene. Cute, little town. I enjoyed how there are signs all over town about "historic [insert name here] mansion", yet every one of them was smaller than average homes in Draper or basically anywhere on the side of the mountains in Utah.

We didn't take any more pictures, but we got in to Kansas City around 4 am, and to Bethany's and in bed by 5. They quietly left for work while we slept in.

Surprise!

Well, this was a surprise for everyone, especially us:


I assure you we weren't trying. If anything this is a bit of a medical miracle. Without getting too terribly graphic it seems Karla ovulates at a very unconventional "time of the month."

This definitely complicates our plans. Obviously I'm looking for work but if Karla's history with pregnancy is any indicator then I'll need a job that can pay all of our bills (I was ready to take just whatever I can get), as Karla might not be able to actually do massage while pregnant.

Once again we're reminded (as though we really needed to be) that our plans are not necessarily the Lord's plans.

Stay tuned!


P.S. We tried to call people for more personalized announcements, but we completely ran out of roaming minutes on our cell phone plan (there's no local service here), and the landline (actually a Vonage VOIP line) is acting up, so we can't complete that process. My apologies if you are offended that we didn't call you; we really did try.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Woohoo!

I got a job interview. That might not seem to you like a big deal, but the last 5o or 80 jobs I applied for in Utah didn't even result in the slightest response, much less an interview. Today is our 8th day here and I already have a job interview tonight. Something about a "local sign shop seeks experienced production and management help." I had a brief phone interview and they asked me to come in. Should be interesting.

The bad news: It's over an hour away. And I drive a Suburban. If I get the job I'll be shopping for another motorcycle VERY soon.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Day 1 - Salt Lake to Denver

On day 1 of driving we got a late start because of delays in saying "goodbye" to certain family members who seemed to really want to drag it out. We left roughly 2.5 hours later than we had hoped would be the latest to leave.

This was my view for most of the drive, with the sun behind us
and a clear view of the truck & trailer in the rear view mirrors.
I really liked this look in the convex mirror, so I took a lot of
pictures of that view on the drive, very carefully, with Karla
helping me keep the wheel steady. I was watching the road and
shooting blindly out the window, hoping some would turn out.
I ended up deleting roughly 4 out of every 5 of these shots because
they were blurry or aimed badly or whatever, but a few turned out great.

The drive was rough. There are so many canyon climbs through Wyoming that we couldn't make very good time. Most of the climbs we were only able to manage about 45 to 50 mph with the accelerator floored. NOT good for gas mileage.


I really liked the look of these wind generators in Wyoming.
We saw many still under construction and quite a few
of the blades in transit. It takes two separately steered vehicles
to transport a single blade, with each end tied down to one vehicle.

We filled up the tank a week before we left for $93.50. My dad filled it up for me again on one of the test drives for thirty-something bucks. I drove it up to Evanston before we filled it up again to try to get a more realistic view of the mileage. I don't remember for certain right now what that one cost (we have the receipt in the truck) but it was somewhere around $60 or $80. According to the odometer that put us around 6.5 mpg. OUCH! I had been hoping to get around 9 or 10 mpg on the worst stretches.

And we still had the climb to Cheyenne, followed by a drop to Denver. It was not looking good. Here are some shots of the girls at a rest stop an hour or so past Evanston.




We pulled into Cheyenne nearly out of gas. The girls were all asleep as I filled up and calculated the gas mileage. I knew that the odometer said we hadn't gone nearly far enough to be out of gas, so I was scared to figure it out.

I finally gathered the courage and my worst fears were realized: 5 MPG! This was getting painful!




I drove for another 20 or 30 minutes before feeling too tired to continue, so I woke Karla up and she drove down to Denver while I slept. I must say she did a great job with a huge truck & a huge trailer. That I was able to sleep says a lot.

With the delays getting on the road, and the very slow pace through the canyons, when we finally got in it was about 2:30 am. Karla's cousin, Evan, slept on the couch until we got there so he could let us in to his BEAUTIFUL home. (Apparently attorneys are well paid...)

Madi proceeded to talk for the next 2 hours, despite having been told in no uncertain terms that it was time to sleep.

We slept in until almost noon. It was nice, but put us behind schedule again the next day. Evan and his whole family were gone by the time we woke up, but they left food on the counter and his wife, Tristen, even made us cinnamon rolls for the road. We were pretty crappy guests, but I must say if you have the option that's the way to do it: late checkin, late checkout, beds made up, food provided, warm showers, and no charge! THANK YOU EVAN & FAMILY!

We took a photo in front of Evan's house before pulling out for Day 2, just to prove we were there.


Our Moving Rig

This post is a bit of a novel. Sorry about that. I just know how many times I've tried to research something and the most helpful information was on the blog of some random person I've never met, so I wanted to document our vehicle & trailer purchasing experience here so others can benefit.


The drive from Utah to South Carolina is about 2600 miles. We sold most of our stuff before we moved, but kept the things we would be using immediately (like Summer clothes), were of a sentimental nature, or were otherwise difficult to replace. We needed a way to bring that stuff with us across the country on a VERY tight budget. Our tax return was very kind to us this year, and we planned on selling our Civic, so we would have some money, but not a lot. Originally Karla's new employer (also her cousin) had offered to finance the move, and we would pay her back over time. That changed to "I can pay for your gas", and then that changed to "I'll contribute $300 toward your gas", and that even fell through after we had moved out of our apartment and we were packed up and ready to leave. We had budgeted for at least the gas money, and that was no longer available, so I'm not kidding when I say the budget was VERY tight.

Backing up now, we started out looking at U-Haul, Penske, Budget, and other truck rental places but we discovered 3 problems:
  • They're not cheap, and after paying the money and making the move you don't have anything left of that investment other than having arrived (which is worth something, for sure, but we were hoping for a little better return on an investment).
  • They only seat up to 3 people (we have 4)
  • The slightly more affordable trucks large enough to hold our stuff don't have towing options, so we couldn't bring our car. We really didn't want to get here and have to rely on relatives or non-existent public transit to get around until we could find a car.
We looked at buying a used U-Haul, which is roughly twice the price of renting one, but we very likely could have sold it again for a comparable amount and basically come out rent-free. But we still would have the 3-seat issue.



We finally decided on buying an SUV. The ones we like the most we couldn't dream of affording (Yukon Denali, Sequoia, Escalade, Avalanche, Ridgeline, etc.), so we started looking at 7-12 year old compact SUVs and extended cab trucks like Blazers, Sonomas, and others.


BUT we were advised by my brother, Justin, who makes a living fixing cars that he makes a good living fixing THOSE cars. He advised us to skip right over the S-10 line of GMC/Chevy trucks and get into a full-size truck.

So we started to look at the Yukons and Tahoes which we love. But the ones we could afford and we actually liked kept getting sold right before we could go see them. We decided to look at a couple of Suburbans and we were really surprised by how much we liked them. We'd never checked them out before and always assumed they were just huge, beastly SUVs. They are, but they're also quite nice. Good stock sound system, front and rear air, HUGE towing capacity, power everything, cruise control, etc. Just way more options than we were seeing with the Tahoes and Yukons, and at a cost of only a couple miles per gallon worse.

Ultimately we purchased a 1995 Chevrolet Suburban C1500 (C means 2-wheel drive, 1500 is the smaller of the two engine options, the other being the 2500, which, as far as I can tell, are just marketing figures and have no direct relation to the actual engine size), as our 1997 Honda Civic just didn't hold or tow very much.



We looked at a wide range of trailer options. We started looking for box/enclosed trailers, but they are remarkably expensive. We actually looked at box trucks before we got the Suburban because you can get a box truck cheaper than a box trailer, but we decided that it was sketchy to try to drive an old box truck across the country. We really had no desire to be stranded anywhere.




We then looked at flatbed trailers which are MUCH more affordable than box trailers. But we weren't sure we wanted to subject all of our stuff to the elements. In particular we love our pillow top mattress and even fully encasing it in multiple layers of plastic mattress bags and tarps didn't seem like it would be enough.



In the process of checking out the KSL Classifieds and craigslist trailer ads, we discovered that travel trailers are BY FAR the cheapest way to get a large, enclosed trailer. Obviously not as convenient for loading as a regular cargo trailer, but for the price it's tough to beat. There are MANY available (at least in the Salt Lake area) for under $1000. Since we were looking at $500 to RENT a U-Haul trailer it just made sense to go this way. We bought a 1973 Prowler travel trailer for $550. I measured it as 15 feet, but the title says 16 feet, and the NADA guide where I tried to figure out the actual value had neither option. Either way it's a single axle trailer (again, not ideal for hauling lots of stuff, but we decided to take a chance.) The tires were in great shape–new, really–having only been used to relocate the trailer from Orem to Holladay. The keys had been lost, there's a big hole in the septic tank, and we're not sure if it's safe to pressurize with propane, but we didn't get it for camping.


Not much to look at, but we like it. We had enough fun cleaning it up (dusty & all that) before we loaded it up that we're thinking about refinishing the inside and replacing the septic tank and actually taking it on a trip. We threw away the bed mattresses because they weren't worth saving, and the curtains/drapes (someone educate me: what's the difference?) disintegrated when we touched them, but again, we didn't care on this trip.

We were in a big hurry to get out of our apartment because the landlord had new tenants lined up and he gave us an offer we couldn't refuse. We loaded up the trailer very quickly, not concerning ourselves yet with weight distribution and all that, because we could redo it all at my mother's house a few blocks away. When we got there it looked like this:


You don't have to be any sort of truck/trailer expert to see that something is wrong here. We have weight in the back of the truck, on top of the truck, and in the front of the trailer (where there's the most room). At this point the hitch bottomed out going through gutters. We had no intention of actually going across the country with it like this, yet everyone felt the need to inform us that it needed attention. While we appreciated the concern, it got tiresome very fast.

By the way, we got the cargo bags at Walmart on the RV & towing aisle in the automotive section for $20 each. THEY'RE HUGE. Similar ones sell online for $150. These were advertised as waterproof. We drove through A LOT of rain and our clothes & such all came through as clean & dry as when we'd packed them. (Well, except for the added humidity.)

Side-story, but directly related:

My parents decided to buy us new tires. I was hoping to get by on the ones that came with the truck, but one blew out on the freeway before we left town, and it was one of the better ones. I was certainly grateful that the tire blew not only before we left town but even at a time when the trailer wasn't connected, as we wouldn't have been able to get into the back of the truck where the spare is without disconnecting the trailer and removing all the stuff we had packed back there.

Anyway, my dad insisted on Michelins from Costco's tire center. I can't say I'd ever owned Michelins before (I'm too broke and/or cheap), but since he was paying I was happy to go along with that. He works every Saturday, so he worked out with my mom to pay for them and he'd pay her back. But she was busy babysitting a few dozen grandkids (at least that's how many it felt like) so Karla and I took her Costco card with us to get them started, then we would go back and trade with my mom when it was time to go pay for them. But the guys at Costco refused to help without her there because it was her card. (Our Costco membership had expired and we needed to save that money for gas for the trip.) So we went back and Karla watched all the kids while my mom & I went back to Costco. The first time we'd been there we were the only customers. Four empty work bays, Costco employees standing around looking bored, etc. The next time we had to stand in line and wait, then we paid for 2 new rear tires, plenty to get us to South Carolina. I asked that the best of the remaining tires be the spare, even if that meant keeping the existing spare. The guy had serious communication problems and tried to charge us almost $600 for the 2 tires. Turns out he had rung up 4 tires. Not really a listener.

He then announced that it would be at least an hour and a half wait. Fantastic. (Again, we're already a couple hours into this process.) It was hailing violently outside, so my mom called Natalie and asked her to come pick her up on the way back to get her kids, which she did.

I then wandered the store for an hour or so. I got a piece of pizza (I LOVE COSTCO PIZZA) and then the phone rang. It was the handi-man at the tire center informing me that, although they had already taken almost $300 of our money, they would not be able to do anything for us unless we purchased 4 tires. Basically the spare tire was a passenger grade tire, while the other front tire was a light truck tire. He tried to tell me that it's against the law to mismatch the tires like that so he couldn't let me leave that way.

If you know anything about Millers you'll know how well I took that. I hung up the phone and walked over to chat with the guy face-to-face. But he wasn't there. I had to wait for someone to come to the desk. When some kid showed up I asked for a manager. He insisted that he is a manager, despite any sort of nametag identifying him as such (Costco always makes their managers, supervisors, etc. very visible). So I expressed to him my frustration with having already been trying for 3+ hours to get just 2 tires and now, after paying, being told I couldn't leave without buying 4 tires.

It took over half-an-hour and working my way up through managers to get it worked out. (I asked for the store manager by name which definitely startled the guys in the tire center. I don't think they saw it going any way other than me ordering all 4 tires and them getting employee-of-the-month or something.) I called them on the absolute lie that they couldn't let me leave without buying 4 tires. It's not a law, it's a store policy, and one that they shouldn't even consider if they insist on taking payment before doing the work. Or at the very least they should look at the vehicle before taking payment, particularly when they know that the person making payment isn't staying to pick it up.

Eventually I was able to talk to the Assistant Store Manager who was reasonable and apologetic; much more like my usual experiences with Costco. He said it's the first time he's ever heard of the pay-before-service policy causing a problem, and he had no idea why his employees had attempted to deceive me into buying 4 tires as though it was a law. He arranged for a cash refund, but only after I made it abundantly clear that they had already wasted enough of not only my time but my mother's as well, and it was completely unreasonable for him to require her to return to the store to arrange for a refund. (Nevermind that I had the receipt in hand and he could have simply reversed the charge through their card processing service; I knew how to do that when I was 15 working at Lagoon.)

It took another 20 minutes to get the refund. Then I went home and looked up tire reviews at consumerreports.com and current prices online. I found that a certain model of Bridgestone Wrangler light truck tires were rated for slightly more miles and 200 pounds more load-bearing capacity than the Michelins, at just over half the Costco price, at Walmart. Better yet they were the only tire shop I could find that was open after 5 pm (I got out of Costco around 4:30), and it was important to me to get the tires done that day. With the full cost of taxes and all that we ended up with all 4 tires (ironically enough) for just $45 more than Costco wanted for 2 tires, and they were better tires as well.

Bottom line: I really like Costco as an organization and I really like their business model (ask me sometime; it's not obvious), but Walmart's service was SO much better. (By the way, they were willing to let me buy just the two, but at the price I couldn't pass up all 4.) The guy installing the tires even tracked me down in the store to ask if I wanted the white lettering side of the tires showing or hidden. I chose the latter.

After redistributing some weight in the trailer the hitch angle and ground clearance improved, but not enough. My dad volunteered to buy us some new air shocks, Gabriel Hijackers to be specific, and help me install them.Very cool product: they have airlines that link both sides and provide an inflation/deflation access valve on the rear bumper right by the tow hitch. It uses a standard tire valve type connection so it's very easy to use, except that while they can be inflated up to 200 psi, it's hard to find an air compressor that provides that level. Most consumer ones max out at 125 psi. ($65 for the pair at Autozone, by the way, which is way less than I thought they would cost. Plus you can inflate them without a load and drive around with the back jacked up and the front looking like it's been dropped by comparison.)



Anyway, after discovering that we didn't have enough access to get the new, fatter shocks installed with the truck jacked up a few inches, we took it to Justin's shop and with a real vehicle lift and all the right tools we got the whole system installed and inflated. Justin also flipped the used hitch ball (also donated by my dad) over to buy us another couple inches of lift for the trailer. This sounds easier than it was, as it required a torch, a high torque impact wrench, and a huge impact socket. I couldn't have done it with my little tools. Everyone should have a Justin. Afterward it looked like this:


Apologies to my dad for the timing of that shot, as he was working on the trailer wiring when I took it. It's the best one I have to show the much improved angle between the truck & trailer.

Speaking of trailer wiring, I have to vent: Why in the world does a truck with a "tow package included" not include a trailer brake controller? It costs $50 to $150 for an aftermarket controller, so I have to believe that it would be even less expensive for the truck manufacturers to just include it, and then everyone would be safer because it could be designed into the actual brake controls and the trailer braking would be intuitive, rather than some attempt to "feel" how the truck is braking and then apply the same amount to the trailer. It's a PITA to wire up if you don't have a dedicated trailer brake controller port under the dash (they didn't even start to include this until 1999 on GM vehicles, and even then it wasn't standardized). I got a bit of it done before my dad joined me and fixed my work (basically just improving the quality of the connections). He also replaced the trailer wire harness connector, installed a port for that connector on the back of the Suburban, and fixed all the trailer brake, turn, and clearance lights. He even bought a new safety chain and mounting bolts to connect to the truck hitch and trailer tongue in case the ball hitch failed. He's a good guy to have around. Everyone should have a my dad.

Here he is at work:


Word to the wise: don't comment to him about his socks & shorts. You have been warned.

Seems like we should be done, right? We have the truck which runs great, the trailer which holds our crap, and the hitch, suspension, and wiring are all worked out. Ready to head down the road!

Actually we took a test drive first and discovered that there was significant trailer sway over 55 or 60 mph. Since we were hoping to do 60 mph most the way there that presented a real problem. Once again, it was Dad to the rescue: he bought us a Trailer Sway Control Bar which is basically a big, long brake pad that goes between the hitch bar and the trailer, almost but not quite parallel to the regular hitch, so that it creates friction when the trailer moves left and right relative to the truck. It's adjustable to compromise between the ability to do slow turns and resist fast swaying. Unfortunately it was designed for ball hitches that mount right on the rear bumper, with spots for auxiliary balls right beside it. We didn't have that, so we had to weld a plate onto the receiver hitch setup we have. Once again it was Dad & Justin to the rescue. Dad figured out the correct geometry for the system, and drove it down to Justin's shop. His welder was broken so Dad drove all over town finding the parts that were needed. Justin welded it up and it looked fantastic. Dad drove it back up and installed it with the sway bar and we took it on another test drive.



Once again we went on another test drive. Where on the first drive I was able to keep the trailer under control by manually applying the trailer brake with the controller (Tekonsha Voyager, by the way), this time we could barely get it to sway when we tried to force it into one. We tested it up to 80 mph to make sure it could handle it, which it did. (The plan was still to only go 60 mph to save gas and for safety.) It worked GREAT.

Because it occurred later in the story, but it is directly related, I want to jump ahead and finish the telling of the anti-sway bar product review:

The instructions said to take it apart and clean off the friction plate with a wire brush after the first 1000 miles. I took it apart in Kansas City and discovered that the friction plate itself had disintegrated. I knew it had felt a little bit more loose the last couple hours of driving, but I didn't think it was that bad. I think it was holding together well enough at that point, but not so much once I took it apart to clean it up.

I also discovered that the tensioning bolt had come loose by itself (the result of the disintegration? the cause? I'm not sure). I put some Loctite on it and tightened it back up with what little was left of the friction plate in place. We saved $15 or so by getting it at Harbor Freight instead of State Trailer Supply (http://www.statetrailer.com/ 3600 South Redwood Road in Salt Lake). Now I have to wonder if that was a good idea after all.

The plate that Justin welded on also warped considerably. Again, I don't know if this is the result of the friction plate failing or if both are the result of far more lateral force being applied than it was designed to handle. Either way we arrived in South Carolina safely, but the last day and a half of driving were much more tense as we could really feel the trailer sway EVERY time we were passed by a large vehicle. It felt just like getting pushed by the wake of another boat, except that it put us into the start of a death sway EVERY TIME. Fortunately the anti-sway bar seemed to keep it under control enough that I felt good about continuing, but every time it the trailer started to drive the truck I would tighten my grip on the wheel and hope it would be brief like all the previous rounds.


So that's the end of this story. We bought a Suburban, saved money on a travel trailer instead of a cargo trailer, and it didn't tow as nicely as we'd hoped, but it generally behaved well and I'd recommend it to anyone who needs to save money, BUT ONLY IF YOUR RIG IS SET UP PROPERLY. Really I'd recommend a REAL anti-sway solution which integrates with a weight-distributing hitch. But chances are if you can afford that you aren't moving your family across the country in an old travel trailer. JUST DON'T KILL YOUR FAMILY IN YOUR ATTEMPT TO SAVE MONEY.

Oh, and it can be just as dangerous to tow with U-Haul equipment if you aren't set up for it. They normally inspect your setup before they let you leave, but I have read about enough times that they didn't catch something important that I would be cautious. Do your homework.